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A Move, a Miscarriage and More
Sometimes life drifts along uneventfully, the days flowing together in a busy but peaceful sort of way way. And sometimes... it doesn't. Lately my life has fallen in the latter category:
  • April - sold our Omaha house. Did anyone else not realize how much work and stress this is until they were in the thick of it? Ugh.
  • May - I found out I was pregnant with #4. Unplanned, potentially dangerous, still a blessing. 
  • June - Move to Iowa for husband's job. So much work. So much vomiting (see May). But at least I get a pretty painting studio! (See my new desk?)
  • July - I officially move the LRA business too, hire new employee, drown in paperwork. And have I mentioned vomiting?
  • July - Blindsighted by a miscarriage at Week 16. Pain, both physical and mental.
  • August - I begin to paint again and start recover, physically and mentally.

Why am I sharing this? I guess to let you know that there is a real person behind all the artwork you see. A person's who life sometimes floats along happily, and then gets derailed and then gets further derailed until she can't even remember where the rails are anymore. 

But I like to think this makes me better at what I do. I'm lucky enough to help commemorate so many special moments with my paintings: celebration of successful surgeries, triumph over infertility, despair from a lost loved one, you name it. I want you to know that I'm feeling your joy and hope and pain with you and infusing it into my art to the best of my ability. While I paint, I find myself unconsciously tapping into my own past, generating a depth that wouldn't otherwise be present in my work.  And the beautiful part of it is that the painting it brings me more happiness and healing than anything else could.

So now that I've found the rails again (I've managed about a month of peace without any life changes or getting blindsided) I am able to appreciate this odd relationship, that the more stressful things that happens to me, the more I am inspired to paint. And the more I paint, the better I am able to recover my stress and hardship. Beauty arises from adversity. Sometimes I just wish I had a fast-forward button.

Comments

Catherine Shafer :

I’m so sorry about your baby. It makes me weep a bit. We had three miscarriages and one stillborn little boy many years ago (he would be 35!). It still makes me cry. I had so many people tell me it’s for the best. Well, maybe, but it is still your baby and still part of your heart. I don’t know you, but my love to you as one mother to another!

Aug 07, 2020

Rebecca:

Just wanted to let you know how beautiful I find your art and your words, even this blog entry. I hope things are better for you now and that you’re back to those days of peace (even in the middle of this pandemic). I’m a radiation therapist and rad tech so I found your art through the covers for the ASRT Radiologic Technology magazine from back in 2017. The watercolor you made of the CT scan “The Stroke” sent shivers down my spine when I saw it and I looked up your information thinking I might buy a print. Unfortunately I didn’t find it available in your shop, but at least I still have the magazine cover.

Aug 07, 2020

MARAL SHABAK:

Thank you for sharing your amazing story and beautiful art! I’m opening a birth center in San Diego, CA called Tourmaline Birth and Wellness Collective and we are planning on decorating our clinic rooms with your prints. Just wanted to express gratitude for your pieces. We will be making our purchases next month.

Aug 07, 2020

Ann Sullivan:

Hi Kaitlyn!

I finally have a place at my office in one of my exam rooms to hang the beautiful print you gave me. I love it so much and I am happy I can share it with all my patients. Hanging it inspired me to come to your website and check out your latest work. It is all still beautiful!

I read your little blog about what you have been through the last few months. Just wanted to say sorry for your pain and hope you are healing emotionally as well as physically. But if I know you at all, I am guessing you are bouncing back with grace.

Just wanted to reach out and say “hi” and wish you and your family the best!

Ann

Aug 07, 2020

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